Joining a Registry
Joining one or more registries is optional, but it's a good way to make sure you receive gifts you actually want and need. Traditional places to register are stores that sell dishes and kitchen appliances, but many stores -- from big chains to small boutiques -- offer registries. Ask at your favorite store!It's considered bad form to mention your registry on your invitation; instead, rely on word-of-mouth to spread news of your registry, or include it on your wedding website (which is acceptable to mention on your invitation.)
If you're getting married after living together for a long time or after a previous marriage, you might not need the usual housewares and toasters. But even in this case, it's not polite to ask for cash; instead, you could ask for donations to a favorite charity.
What if I Cancel the Wedding?
Of course you don't want to imagine that this will happen, but if your wedding is canceled or annulled close to the ceremony, it's polite to return the presents (except for personalized or engraved gifts; it's all right to keep those).Thank You Notes
If you don't want to anger or disappoint your guests, make sure to send out thank you notes promptly! Take careful notes so you remember who gave you which presents and send your notes out either as soon as you receive your gift or within three months, at the latest.Here are a few places to start looking for thank you stationery in North Carolina (also good places to look for invitations!):
Salutations (Chapel Hill and Charlotte): Fine stationery store offering all kinds of cards, notes and gifts.
A Fine Line Studio (Asheville): Fine engraved stationery and invitations.
Mindy & Angie's Fine Paper (Wilmington): Stationery company specializing in weddings.
Giving Gifts
Gifts are generally expected from everyone who's invited to a wedding, even if you don't attend. Some gift-giving tips:- You aren't obligated to pick a gift from the couple's registry, but it does ensure that the marrying couple will be happy with their gifts.
- If giving cash, write a check.
- If the invitation says no gifts are required, you still have the option of giving a gift anyway, but in this case the best option is probably to give to a charity in the couple's name.
- Mailing the gift rather than bringing it to the shower or wedding reception is safer.
- Although convention once said you had a year after attending a wedding to send a present, it's really polite to send your gift right away or within three months.