Religious or Secular Ceremony?
You have two options when it comes to officiants: religious or secular. In order for your marriage to be legal in North Carolina, you must be married either:- By someone ordained by a recognized house of worship (church, mosque, temple, synagogue etc.) or by a state-recognized Native American nation or tribe, or;
- By a local magistrate at your city or county courthouse.
Religious Officiants
If you're getting married at a house of worship where you are a member, finding an officiant will be no problem; if you'd like to hold your wedding elsewhere, however, ask at your church (synagogue, etc.) to see if someone is willing to travel for your wedding.Your other option is to hire a professional wedding officiant, someone who presides over weddings for a living. You can find professional officiants in any denomination, willing to preside over any kind of wedding. A good place to start when looking for these kinds of officiants is with a wedding planner or coordinator at your ceremony site; you can also find many names online or in the Yellow Pages, but it's best to find someone who was recommended or at least to interview a few candidates.
Secular Officiants
If you and your partner are of different faiths or non-religious, if one of you is divorced (meaning that people of certain faiths might refuse to marry you) or if you're just seeking a non-denominational ceremony, you might consider a secular officiant. In North Carolina, you have two options for this:- You can seek out a professional officiant like those listed below (many religious officiants also offer non-denominational or secular services) or;
- You can get married by a magistrate at your local courthouse, and hold a formal ceremony and reception before or after without an officiant or with an unofficial person presiding.
A sampling of some of the officiants working in North Carolina, offering both religious and non-religious ceremonies:
Reverend Bonnie Lee Compton: Offers religious and secular ceremonies; based in New Bern, serves couples along the Crystal Coast.
Reverend Barbara Lodge: Writes personalized nondenominational ceremonies for each couple; based in the Triangle area.
Reverend Donny Beach: Self-described "elder beach hippie" who offers non-traditional ceremonies to couples getting married on the North Carolina coast.
Reverend Ron Grillo: Nondenominational interfaith officiant in the Greensboro area.
How To Pick An Officiant
Besides the original religious/secular question, it's a good idea to meet a few candidates and talk to each of them, getting a feel for their personalities. Here are a few things you might want to keep in mind when seeking out your officiant:- Make absolutely sure he or she is licensed to marry you in North Carolina.
- How much control does the officiant want over your ceremony? Can you write your own vows or have some amount of say over the officiant's script?
- In an emergency, does he or she have a back up person?
- Will he or she have an issues with your wedding theme, music or photography?
- If you want to be married by a religious officiant in a secular location, is that all right with the officiant?
- Make sure there are no problems if you and your partner are of different faiths, non-religious or divorced.
- Will you and your partner need to join the officiant's church in order to be married by him or her?
- Can non-religious friends or friends of other faiths participate in the ceremony?